Survival of the fitest

Funny title, huh? But you know that Darwin guy, just might have been on to something.

I was talking to our respite angel. This woman is so many things to my family. Quasi Grand Mother (notice all in caps as it is such a special title) to my children, Mother in Deed for me and Friend for my Dad. She steps in and helps in more ways than I can count and I would truly be lost without her love, guidance and support. (That Hallmark moment was brought to you through support of your local Alzheimer's Agency.)

But we were talking today after I got home from work (my favorite part of the day). She mentioned how she worries if her clients are out of her sight too long. She then shared that the family member confided that he was fine in the bathroom and they would hear if he fell. I laughed at the irony of the situation and will explain why.

I have always seen our respite angel as the be all and end all of caregiving. If I had a question, she had an answer as she has been doing this for years and nothing surprises her. And even with all her years of experience, I realized that she goes home at the end of the day. I as the primary caregiving, live it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no time off for good behavior. So while my respite angel is still my role model, I saw a difference in our experiences that had never occurred to me. She could walk away (she never would, but could) while we are family caregivers are in it for the long haul.

And I think what happens (with caregiving) is the cream rises to the top. Those that make it as caregivers adapt to their new environment (aka Darwin) and become a new and improved human being. The stress, the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the worry, the pressure and the fun, the laughter, the unbelievable situations we find ourselves in; lead us to become a better version of who we are. And this goes for all caregivers, whether you are caring for your loved one at home or in another setting. So caregivers, I salute you.