Wow, have I lost track of time or what? I have been so busy with everything, this kind of fell through the clocks. Once again, I can suck it up and say I am sorry and move ahead or I can wallow in guilt and flog myself on a regular basis.....choices.......choices
Last winter it was my health that seemed to dominate the health front but that has been resolved and back to Dad.
So much to tell. First is the spot story. While helping Dad dress I noticed traces of blood in his underwear and became concerned, a urinary track infection could really muck up the works. I gave him some cranberry juice and continued to examine and find trace blood. I noticed it was on the edge and not the middle and realized what I had to do. I had to look. Examining my Dad's genitalia is always a tricky thing for he and I. Sometimes he thinks I am my mom and thinks I am feeling amorous, ewww ewww ewww. So I snap on the gloves and get very medical hoping he goes with the "professionalism".
I noticed a black very funny looking mole thing right next to his scrotum. One of the concerns we have since Dad was nuked during the Korean War, is skin cancer. So I called the VA for guidance and an appointment. Somehow, I ended up with their phone triage nurse. I explained the situation and was met with silence. Getting frustrated I asked if she was there. She said yes and then nothing again. I then ask if she had advice for me. She said not at the moment, she had questions, like why was I looking at my Dad's groin.
Engaging my brain before my mouth, and out comes "Oh my god, she has no clue." Not the most tactful way to start a conversation. She became insulted and wanted to talk to my Dad, I briefly caught her up to speed and told her to read some of the notes in his file on her computer. It was decided that I would bring him in the next day. It all seemed so backwards to me, why was she more concerned with our relationship than his health? I was stumped and then I realized, although she is a nurse she has not been a caregiver. She functions from a professional side while we function from and with our hearts.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Lost in the shuffle
With the holidays, a daughter in college and making myself sick with worry it has been a busy few months.
The holidays were lovely, Dad especially enjoyed Thanksgiving. He could smell the turkey cooking and see pies and knew something reallllly good was in the works. I remember the rules at thanksgiving when I was growing up. The table was set with the "good china and silverware". Celery stuffed with cream cheese, pickles and olives came on the table first. With dire threats to our health if we should eat ANYTHING. Dad and I would circle the table filching something with every pass. I am sure my mom knew what we were doing, just choose to ignore it. lol
This thanksgiving was a little different. We ate earlier, the rules were disbanded and we ate well and often. Dad enjoyed every moment.
Christmas was wonderful. My collegiate daughter came home and the family was whole. My Dad was so glad to see her. He kept looking at her and asking who she was. not the normal welcome home for the prodigal daughter! My daughter, a savvy caregiver in her own right recognized that he was glad to see her and was trying to place her in the family dynamic. She would explain and tell him about college. They agreed that both of them being home for the holidays was terrific.
Then we had dad's birthday. We had a lovely party at a restaurant that makes a fuss over the birthday boy. An icecream sundae and a song were his. He stood and waved to his adoring fans and laughed. Could not have been a better response. We called his sister and she and dad had a lovely chat. Stella (his sister) filled him in on who had died, how old everyone was and did an amazing thing for me....told him he was to stay with me and that I was taking good care of him. Boy, did I need that stroke.
With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I had lost sight and my conviction. This created stress in our home, which increased Dad's agitation and sundowning reared its ugly head. So a little self talk, a trip to the doctor (for me) and a little time off for good behavior has helped.
I am using my time off wisely. I am in Juneau, to talk to our legislature and request additional funding for grants that support in home care for our seniors. The idea is, caregiving is tough and requires sacrifices (duh) and the caregiver needs help, be it chore, respite, pca.......... If the caregiver has this support they can care for their loved one at home for a longer period of time. And that is my goal. So here I am in Juneau, Alaska waiting for my appointments to start in 2 days. In the meantime I will eat, sleep, write my testimony, sleep some more, read a book, watch a movie and go for a walk. And to be honest, the weather has turned bad, cold and strong winds. muahahahah. So walking may be out. I may just have to sleep, eat, read, write and watch movies............Oh my goodness I am a decadent girl!
The holidays were lovely, Dad especially enjoyed Thanksgiving. He could smell the turkey cooking and see pies and knew something reallllly good was in the works. I remember the rules at thanksgiving when I was growing up. The table was set with the "good china and silverware". Celery stuffed with cream cheese, pickles and olives came on the table first. With dire threats to our health if we should eat ANYTHING. Dad and I would circle the table filching something with every pass. I am sure my mom knew what we were doing, just choose to ignore it. lol
This thanksgiving was a little different. We ate earlier, the rules were disbanded and we ate well and often. Dad enjoyed every moment.
Christmas was wonderful. My collegiate daughter came home and the family was whole. My Dad was so glad to see her. He kept looking at her and asking who she was. not the normal welcome home for the prodigal daughter! My daughter, a savvy caregiver in her own right recognized that he was glad to see her and was trying to place her in the family dynamic. She would explain and tell him about college. They agreed that both of them being home for the holidays was terrific.
Then we had dad's birthday. We had a lovely party at a restaurant that makes a fuss over the birthday boy. An icecream sundae and a song were his. He stood and waved to his adoring fans and laughed. Could not have been a better response. We called his sister and she and dad had a lovely chat. Stella (his sister) filled him in on who had died, how old everyone was and did an amazing thing for me....told him he was to stay with me and that I was taking good care of him. Boy, did I need that stroke.
With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I had lost sight and my conviction. This created stress in our home, which increased Dad's agitation and sundowning reared its ugly head. So a little self talk, a trip to the doctor (for me) and a little time off for good behavior has helped.
I am using my time off wisely. I am in Juneau, to talk to our legislature and request additional funding for grants that support in home care for our seniors. The idea is, caregiving is tough and requires sacrifices (duh) and the caregiver needs help, be it chore, respite, pca.......... If the caregiver has this support they can care for their loved one at home for a longer period of time. And that is my goal. So here I am in Juneau, Alaska waiting for my appointments to start in 2 days. In the meantime I will eat, sleep, write my testimony, sleep some more, read a book, watch a movie and go for a walk. And to be honest, the weather has turned bad, cold and strong winds. muahahahah. So walking may be out. I may just have to sleep, eat, read, write and watch movies............Oh my goodness I am a decadent girl!
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