As a trained economist

Which means, I went to school studied economics but never really found a job. But, as a trained economist one of the tricks you learn is cost/benefit analysis. For every decision that is made in life, in the marketplace, in school, in the workforce, whatever each of us does a cost/benefit analysis is in our decision making. If I do X, Y will happen and is X then worth doing? Well, caregiving has its own cost/benefit analysis. Mine goes like this:

COST

• Having Dad at home with me means I cannot work full time anymore.
• Having Dad means less quality time with my husband.
• I lose my peer group.
• I have to manage my Dad's medicines.
• I have to monitor Dad's health.
• I don't get to travel.
• I miss my friends.
• I became an orphan with a living parent.
  
• I feel sad.
  

BENEFIT

• Do I really want to work full time? NOT
• Frankly, quality time with the hubby can be over rated. Not so much honey, love ya!
• Peer group, schmeer group. The silver set is a hoot and frankly I like some of the outrageous remarks and freedom that dementia provides.
  
• With my AARP benefits I can get prescription coverage, wonder if they cover birth control pills............
• But he has some great pills (2 for him, 1 for me.....). My personal favorite is the orange football shaped one.
  
• How much fun is it to tell a new nurse that your Dad has a funny looking mole in his groin area. She begins with shock and horror in her voice "Why are you looking there?"
• Every day is an adventure with Dad.
• I get to make and maintain new relationships over the internet or within my various caregiving groups.
• I gained a friend in my Dad. Never would he have shared with me the stories I have heard in our previous father/daughter roles.
• I don't have time for a pity party.

So what this means, is when I add the psychic costs and the benefits of being a caregiver, it still makes sense to keep Dad with me. Knowing full well and embracing the concept of yes there are losses and there is toll on my life, I still come out ahead. And that is without even considering the benefits for Dad.