I heard a debate on the merits of long-term care. We all need to have a plan but the growing epidemic of those needing care has clearly shown that plans of the past are inadequate. They either were not inflation proofed or didn't cover in home care. So feeling little sad I began to ponder various plans hoping for inspiration. Well it hit....
Long Term Care the Carnival Way
This plan has so many upsides that the downsides seem negligible. You get on a cruise ship, who cares where it is going and just don't get off. You cruise through various designations. You will have maid service, meal service, an on-physician, companionship and on-board clergy should you perish. What more can you ask for? You don't have to put up with your children or neighbors. You have a staff at your beck and call 24/7. Nice, huh?
Prison
This option is not for the feint of heart. First you would need to do a little research and find the nicest prison, don't want to go to a yucky one. You know, the millionaire beach club jails. Commit a little crime and wait for the police to show up. Don't resist arrest, you might get hurt. And allow yourself to be taken to prison. Meals, exercise, companionship, medical care and educational opportunities. The trick is finding the RIGHT prison.
Federal Witness Protection Program
This is the toughest of the programs as it requires some real planning and excellent timing. First become friendly with the local mafia don. In NJ, this is fairly easy, for those in the midwest you might need to do an internet search or relocate. Make friends, hear a secret or two and then call the Justice Department. Volunteer your services (and if you don't have the real goods fake it) and suggest your placement in the program. Voila!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Caregivers are tough cookies
We are mortal and frail just like everyone else. No you say? Heresy? I think not.
Because of the nature of our the lifestyle we have chosen, most of us develop Superhuman Tendencies. We expect ourselves to be on call 24/7, keep an immaculate house, cook gourmet meals, our outfits match, our make-up perfectly applied and our loved ones happy and healthy. In our spare time we should garden, run errands and by the way have a personal appointment or two. Does any of this sound familiar??? I thought so.
Guess, what? You cannot do it all. I recently had an eye opener at the dentist. I had a tooth that was bothering me and I realized that it had been awhile since I had been to the dentist. While in the chair, did I mention I hate the dentist?, they discovered I still had my wisdom teeth, did I mention I hate the dentist and a big old cavity. Long story short I found out I need to have my wisdom teeth extracted and the other tooth as well.
While trying to schedule the next appointment I realized I would have to wait 2 weeks, because my slots were filled with kid stuff and dad stuff. Then I realized that I may be medicated and start asking the questions. How much medication will I need? How long to recuperate? How soon can I talk? And then I explained that I could not be out of commission. The dentist looked at me in shock. I don't think many patients say, the earliest opening I have is at 2 pm, 2 weeks in the future. I then said, if it takes longer than a day, I am not going to have the procedure done.
The dentist talked me down and I realized I was being a little unrealistic. But what if I were sick? What if something happened to me? This thought is scary, because it is no longer just about me. Yes when you are a couple or a parent, it is not about just you. But when you are a caregiver, just you no longer exists. And in light of that many of us err in the favor of our loved one. Our appointments wait, our time for ourself waits, everyone else comes first.
But, I have come to realize this is not the best method. That is the path to guaranteed burn out. We HAVE to take care of ourselves and sometimes put us first, in order TO care for our loved one. By taking time to care for our needs, our appointments, our health we are prolonging the time we will be able to care for our loved one. Isn't a few extra months with our loved one worth a check up, a wisdom tooth extraction?
Because of the nature of our the lifestyle we have chosen, most of us develop Superhuman Tendencies. We expect ourselves to be on call 24/7, keep an immaculate house, cook gourmet meals, our outfits match, our make-up perfectly applied and our loved ones happy and healthy. In our spare time we should garden, run errands and by the way have a personal appointment or two. Does any of this sound familiar??? I thought so.
Guess, what? You cannot do it all. I recently had an eye opener at the dentist. I had a tooth that was bothering me and I realized that it had been awhile since I had been to the dentist. While in the chair, did I mention I hate the dentist?, they discovered I still had my wisdom teeth, did I mention I hate the dentist and a big old cavity. Long story short I found out I need to have my wisdom teeth extracted and the other tooth as well.
While trying to schedule the next appointment I realized I would have to wait 2 weeks, because my slots were filled with kid stuff and dad stuff. Then I realized that I may be medicated and start asking the questions. How much medication will I need? How long to recuperate? How soon can I talk? And then I explained that I could not be out of commission. The dentist looked at me in shock. I don't think many patients say, the earliest opening I have is at 2 pm, 2 weeks in the future. I then said, if it takes longer than a day, I am not going to have the procedure done.
The dentist talked me down and I realized I was being a little unrealistic. But what if I were sick? What if something happened to me? This thought is scary, because it is no longer just about me. Yes when you are a couple or a parent, it is not about just you. But when you are a caregiver, just you no longer exists. And in light of that many of us err in the favor of our loved one. Our appointments wait, our time for ourself waits, everyone else comes first.
But, I have come to realize this is not the best method. That is the path to guaranteed burn out. We HAVE to take care of ourselves and sometimes put us first, in order TO care for our loved one. By taking time to care for our needs, our appointments, our health we are prolonging the time we will be able to care for our loved one. Isn't a few extra months with our loved one worth a check up, a wisdom tooth extraction?
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