Best Manners

I realized something about my Dad today. I have often wondered why he is so calm and peaceful, I know drugs but besides that, his whole demeanor is calm and peaceful. Last week I had an epiphany, my Dad is using his company manners.

My respite angel and I were talking about Dad and some of his recent losses of comprehension. She remarked how sad it was because you could see him trying to piece it all together. She then went on to comment on what a gentleman he is, how polite and considerate. Now to be honest, it is NOT my Dad's nature to be that way, so I laughed to myself. But I started thinking, and trust me no good comes from me thinking!

I realized he acts just as he has when I was little and we would go visit relatives. He was polite, he waited to be asked or would request refreshments. He would visit until he was done and then he would leave. His leaving was with very little ceremony and sometimes folks were lucky to have him say goodbye.

This is EXACTLY his current behavior! I used to get a little frustrated and think, the juice is on the counter for once could you pour yourself a glass? Well guess what folks, no he can't. Not because he doesn't have the CAPACITY anymore, but because it would be IMPOLITE! What a revelation for me. He may have owned this house at one time, he may have lived here for 12 years, but he is a guest in his mind. So when I begin to feel the tugs of caregiving and little nagging voice starts up, I shut her up and remind her I have to put on my hostess manners to match Dad's company manners.