Lunch Date with Dad

My husband watches my Dad in the morning and brings Dad to my workplace on his way to work. We have been using respite to avoid taking Dad out in the cold so it has been awhile since we have done the "switcheroo".

On our way home Dad said he was hungry and had to go to the bathroom so I decided to make a stop. We went to a small local Mexican restaurant to eat and potty. Dad and I sat and had a lovely conversation while waiting for our food. He thought we were in Mexico and was amazed at the wonderful English everyone in the restaurant spoke. He was also amazed that they all looked so.....American. I expressed my amazement as well.

I realized Dad was really enjoying being out and that it had been a while since he and I went out alone. He said over and over again how nice it all was. (See another upside of Alzheimer, not only do the questions repeat but so do the compliments!) Realizing I have been remiss on his outings I suggested going to the Senior Center on Wednesday. He looked at me and very indignantly told me "he was NOT ready for that'. I said "OK" (just as emphatically).

Trying to convince him it would be a good idea, I suggested he could go and meet a woman. He explained he was not interested in any "old broads" (I guess feminism has not happened in his timeline). I suggested finding a "Sugar Momma". He told me any woman he was interested in would be moving too fast for him. I said then she could easily "catch him". He looked at me and very seriously explained that she would "whizz by him" and he had no hope.

Well, the whole conversation just struck me as funny. There were are having this lovely lunch. Half the time he thinks I am his sister and the rest of the time he thinks I am his wife. The WHOLE time I am trying to talk him into a little feminine companionship. I was so clearly reminded of one of the biggests lessons I have learned from caregiving. The actual content of our interaction doesn't matter, the facts/the figures are irrelevant, what does matter is how my Dad feels about it. If we had fun and laughed he goes away at peace and happy inside. If I spend the time correcting him on facts/figures/manners he goes away edgy and unhappy. So what was the goal of our lunch? (besides eating some yummy food) To enrich my Dad's life or another opportunity for me to lecture? I choose enrichment.