It is lonely at the top

Here is a big one for those of us privileged to care for our loved ones.........loneliness. Yep, I said it, L-O-N-E-L-I-N-E-S-S. We all feel it. And we all learn how to deal with it. But that path to learning how to deal with it, is uphill both ways (just like when your parents walked to school) with big ole boulders that have to be climbed in order to continue on the path of acceptance. Some of those boulders are:

• Acceptance
• Fear
• Isolation
• Shame
• Is it really worth it to go anywhere, do anything?

Yes it is. Making the effort, getting out there allows me to feel connected with my peers. I feel less isolated and the loneliness begins to fade.

I remember and count my blessings, I had 30 plus years with loving supportive parents and this is my opportunity to care for my Dad. The loneliness is replaced with a feeling of peace.

I interact with my Dad on his level. We play cards. We start out playing poker and mid hand it becomes gin and then we finish up with poker again. No big deal, it is not about the game it is the moment. I etch that memory and the process of capturing the moment chases the loneliness away.

I sing with my Dad. Silly songs from my childhood. And every once in awhile, it will spark a memory and we can share a memory. That shared memory, that moment erodes some of the loneliness.

I am not perfect. I am truly far from perfect. But I have actively chosen to fight the gloom and doom of caregiving with positive thoughts and actions, with fun, love and laughter. I hope you can too.