Pay it forward, backward, sideward,

Just do it. What mix of slogans, huh?

To be honest I hated the movie Pay it Forward, but loved the message. If you do what you can, when you can, you are in a sense building a karmic credit balance. Just imagine the power of everyone doing something for another person, without regard to who, what, where or when; just take the opportunity and do it! Sometimes we will be the recipient and some times we have the opportunity to give to others and possibly even folks we do not know.

What does this have to do with care giving? Everything and not in the way you think. It is not the act of care giving that is the gift, I am talking about care givers taking care of one another. Now hang on, and just read on.

I can give a simple example. I had my dog at the vet. My dog is not really a dog, but more like a money pit on four legs. While I was waiting for my bill to be totaled. I know there were accountants being called in for overtime, financial analysts were ticking away, logarithms were being plotted, but that is another story. Suffice it to say, I was waiting and waiting and waiting. Now be honest, when sitting in the waiting room we all hear each others stories and pretend we don't.

A woman rushes in to pick up her cat. She is obviously distraught and has explained 3 times that her Dad is in Intensive Care and may not wake up, she has to go on a business trip and needs someone to watch the cat she is picking up at the vet. Usually a tech at the Vet's office does the sitting and expressed concern that she may not be able to sit for the cat at such short notice. The woman is on the brink, this comes from one that is frequently on that brink and can recognize the symptoms. I walk over and explain that my daughter and I will watch her cat. At first she is (quite naturally) alarmed/confused and settles on desperate. I explain that I am a care giver, I know her stress, we have animals and we will do it for her. She has enough on her plate and does not need to worry about the pet. She cries.

I have been there twice. Once when my cat had first developed a terminal illness and my mom was in the hospital, grandma in the nursing home, Dad was with me and the vet suggested I come back at 3:00 to pick up the cat. I lost it. I mean L-O-S-T I-T. The poor vet's eyes became huge and she reached over, patted me on the shoulder and told me to pick up the cat the next morning there would be no charge to board him.

I guess what I am saying is, I have the lovely opportunity to pay back the vet's kindness, by watching a cat for a few days. And if the same situation were to occur again, I would volunteer again. I don't see that I "owe the universe a kindness" or something like that. I see that I have been given the wonderful opportunity to help another caregiver. We give so much of ourselves as caregivers and so often fail to care for ourselves. Just imagine if every caregiver out there, gave other caregivers a simple gift or gesture (like watching a cat eat) how our burdens as caregivers would be lifted.

How much simpler would your day be as a care giver if, a neighbor offered to carry in your groceries, a coworker brushed the snow off your car, you brought cookies to your care giver support group, you called a caregiver for their birthday/valentines day, sent a caregiver a valentine... These random acts of kindness are wonderful when given to the world at large, but I am suggesting that if we as care givers focused on providing that support to one another (care giver to care giver), our loads would be lessened and our ability to care that much richer.