My Dad is not an arts and crafts kind of guy

He has never been a "joiner". He has always balked and ridiculed group activities. This had presented a dilema to me as a caregiver. How was I going to get this guy to participate in group activities, keep him interested, keep his mind functioning. Well, I wish I had the answer! I am laughing at my own ineptitude on this one! I have searched for the perfect activity, the silver bullet so to speak and I am still searching. But I will share what we have tried and the outcomes:

• We went to an adult day center for a hour together. We had a lovely tour and my Dad just kept asking "Are we done?" "Can we go home now?" This was maybe a month after my mom died and I was trying to figure out how to go back to work. I said okay and took him home and he took a nap. When he got up from his nap he looked at me and said "You will never believe where your mother took me today." Scratch the day center.
• We went to the Senior Citizen Center. Lovely activities, really mobile, bright, interesting seniors all over the place. I was having a grand time. Dad decided it was time to go. On the way out he remarked "I would lose my mind if I had to go to a place like that." Scratch the Senior Center.
• We would go to church together. Dad would introduce himself and me as his bride, which didn't bother me, but caused some concern amongst some of the parishoners. As his dementia increased, a nice quiet church service was no longer appropriate as Dad would get loud, fall asleep or get up and leave in the middle. Scratch church as a social activity.

What I discovered is Dad likes to be read to and watch risque comedies. The trick is NOT to park him in front of the tv, but talk about the show, use it to spark conversation. One of the advantages of DVDs are I know which parts of which shows he finds the funniest and can ensure he catches that part. He sees my 16 year old son as a peer and will make comments about the girls and have a real man to man conversation. The 16 year old enjoys being treated like a "man" and they laugh.

Reading out loud is a little tricky in public places. You never know what you will get into. For instance we were waiting in a doctor's office and I picked up Scientific American (my Dad used to subscribe). I found a lovely article on Abraham Lincoln and we began to read it. Pretty soon we were discussing slavery and soon my Dad thought we were in the middle of the Civil War. So now I ensure I always have a nice suitable magazine in my diaper bag. Tomorrow I will talk more about the contents of our diaper bag.