Funerals

This has been a busy week, graduation and 2 funerals. I guess I am hitting that point of life where we celebrate the birth of our children's children and the life of our friends and family that have passed on. I used to dread funerals, so sad, so much pain; but not any more. It may sound trite but I truly see funerals as a celebration of the life that was lived.

The first funeral was for a friend's mother. The mother had Alzheimer's and had not been able to speak for some time. But this daughter loves her mother and even if she could not speak they were so able to communicate. They truly did not need words. The daughter's anguish at losing her mother was obvious to all, but she could not see how her relationship and devotion to her mother enriched all our lives.

Being in the same room with these two was an experience not to be missed. The congregation at their church may not have not their names, but everyone knew the "beautiful woman in a wheelchair and her daughter". And her mother was a beautiful woman who's smile lit up a room, even in photographs. Their relationship was a reminder to each caregiver there, how important our contributions are. It is not in vain. So read and heed. You are doing something amazing and one day you will have the distance and perspective to see what a wonderful loving gift you gave not only your loved one, but the world. Every time you are with your loved one in public, every support group meeting, every appointment is a living testimony to your love and devotion.

The second funeral was for a young man (young becomes relative as you age, he is younger than I am so he is young because I am NOT old). What was sad about his death was the number of people that loved and respected him and his inability to see that. So my heart goes out to his family as they were never given the opportunity to caregive. At the same time I am grateful that my father has given me the chance to care for him and hopefully your loved ones have given you the same opportunity.

So onward and upward caregivers everywhere. Take pride in what you do. Be grateful for the time you have. And remember, you are setting an example and giving others the confidence to care for their own. You are part of a circle or a web (hate spiders but can use the web analogy without cringing too much) that is dependent on one another for success. So thank you.