Gotta love the VA

Dad had a routine doctor's appointment today at the VA. I do love our VA, really I do. My Dad has had lovely care there. They check his blood levels, we do some things and there are some procedures that just aren't worth pursuing. But as with all doctors, the first visit is "Justification by Inquisition". No matter how nice the doctor/nurse/PA is I absolutely hate having to justify my existence and value to them. We all go through it.

• Yes I am aware my Dad has Alzheimer's.
• Yes I am in it for the long haul and no I do not want to discuss "alternative living arrangements"
• Yes I do have respite.
• No I don't have enough respite. This is the rookie question. Does anyone have enough respite????? insert rueful laugh here
• No thank you my Dad doesn't need his prostate probed.
• No thank you we will pass on the colonoscopy. eeeeewwwwww
• Yes it is cold, but my Dad wears diapers so we really don't want to add thermal underwear into the mix.

Really I know they mean well, but READ THE FREAKING CHART. I have been caring for him for YEARS, his blood tests came back better than in months, his weight is stable and he is not using a walker anymore. All progress.

So what to do. As always, choice time. I can get frustrated with the system, I can rage and vent (I am actually pretty good at that smiley face inserted here if I knew how on this thing) or I can smile, put on the company manners and do my best to win her over thereby making it easier for me later on. If I can establish good rapport with EVERY care provider we use, my life is easier, my value goes up in their eyes, I then have more stroke and ultimately my Dad gets better care. So what is the goal? His care. So I suck it up and take one for the team and charm and smile and win them over.