Feb 2008??

Wow, have I lost track of time or what? I have been so busy with everything, this kind of fell through the clocks. Once again, I can suck it up and say I am sorry and move ahead or I can wallow in guilt and flog myself on a regular basis.....choices.......choices

Last winter it was my health that seemed to dominate the health front but that has been resolved and back to Dad.

So much to tell. First is the spot story. While helping Dad dress I noticed traces of blood in his underwear and became concerned, a urinary track infection could really muck up the works. I gave him some cranberry juice and continued to examine and find trace blood. I noticed it was on the edge and not the middle and realized what I had to do. I had to look. Examining my Dad's genitalia is always a tricky thing for he and I. Sometimes he thinks I am my mom and thinks I am feeling amorous, ewww ewww ewww. So I snap on the gloves and get very medical hoping he goes with the "professionalism".

I noticed a black very funny looking mole thing right next to his scrotum. One of the concerns we have since Dad was nuked during the Korean War, is skin cancer. So I called the VA for guidance and an appointment. Somehow, I ended up with their phone triage nurse. I explained the situation and was met with silence. Getting frustrated I asked if she was there. She said yes and then nothing again. I then ask if she had advice for me. She said not at the moment, she had questions, like why was I looking at my Dad's groin.

Engaging my brain before my mouth, and out comes "Oh my god, she has no clue." Not the most tactful way to start a conversation. She became insulted and wanted to talk to my Dad, I briefly caught her up to speed and told her to read some of the notes in his file on her computer. It was decided that I would bring him in the next day. It all seemed so backwards to me, why was she more concerned with our relationship than his health? I was stumped and then I realized, although she is a nurse she has not been a caregiver. She functions from a professional side while we function from and with our hearts.